


Bar the door, please don't let my nightmares in.

by latewinternight



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Established Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Jake Peralta, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22184509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/latewinternight/pseuds/latewinternight
Summary: Jake was supposed to be at the hospital with his mother, who had been very sick. But now she was gone.------------------Inspired by Season 1 episode 8 of The Blacklist.
Relationships: Charles Boyle & Jake Peralta, Gina Linetti & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago, Ray Holt & Jake Peralta, Rosa Diaz (Brooklyn Nine-Nine) & Jake Peralta, Terry Jeffords & Jake Peralta
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	Bar the door, please don't let my nightmares in.

_Sleep_ _don't visit, so I choke on sun_  
 _And the days blur into one_  
 _And the backs of my eyes hum with things I've never done_

Jake fell to the floor, his phone still near his ear, as the news sank in. Amy knew exactly what happened even though he didn't say a word. She didn't need him to, as his welled up tears said enough. And she is thankful it was time for their shifts to end as the bullpen was almost empty and the people who had night shifts would not be there for another hour. They need this privacy. So the next thing she knew was that she was running to his side as he covered his face to hide his sobs. She bent down and brought his head to her chest, and now Jake didn't even care as he cried freely.

Charles solemnly walked towards the pair and kept a comforting hand on Jake's shoulder, his eyes filled with tears too. Amy's throat tightened, as her own tears threatened to spill. This whole situation was such a good epitome of bad timing. Jake was supposed to be at the hospital with his mother, who had been very sick. He was supposed to be there with her in her last hours. But then this notorious killer showed up and Jake was stuck in a dilemma. He couldn't stay by her side. And now she was gone. One of the most important people in his life was gone. She took care of him when his dad left. She made sure that his needs are fulfilled. She always looked out for him. And now she was gone. 

Amy held him more tightly and rested her chin on his head hoping he wouldn't blame himself for any of this. She ran her hand up and down his back and kissed his forehead whispering comforting words to him. Then she noticed Holt standing in his office's door frame looking at Jake somberly. She knew this was going to be a difficult journey. But she would be there for Jake, looking out for him like she always did.

_Sheets are swaying from an old clothesline_   
_Like a row of captured ghosts over old dead grass_   
_Was never much but we made the most_   
_Welcome home_

Amy held Jake's hand firmly as he just stared straight ahead at his mother's coffin. His hair was a mess and his eyes were swollen from all the tears. He was wearing the blue hoodie his mom gifted him under his suit jacket. The whole funeral went by in a trance for him until it was time for eulogy Jake wrote for his mother.

And he told stories about her and not the sad ones, instead, he told the good ones about how she would act as a dangerous criminal whenever his six-year-old self would act like a cop, or how once she tried teaching him how to cook food and he ended up almost burning the whole kitchen down. In-between the eulogy Jake would pass a knowing look at Gina, who would sadly smile back at him, knowing these stories too well. After all, Karen was like a mother to her too.

When the ceremony was over Roger finally came to Jake. He didn't say anything, just squeezed Jake's shoulder once and gave him a hesitant smile, before finally awkwardly hugging him. Jake returned of course. He wouldn't fight with his father at his mother's funeral.

When Roger went Jake made his way to his nine nine squad. Captain Holt looked at him with a slight smile and told him,  
"You did well up there son." referring to the eulogy he spoke and also told him that if he needed anything the gates of Raymond's and Kevin's residence were always open for him. Tears welled up in his eyes again, as finally, the day's events took a toll on him. Then he felt strong arms around him as he realized that Captain Holt was hugging him, which was soon followed by the whole squad.

_Ships are launching from my chest_   
_Some have names but most do not_   
_If you find one, please let me know what piece I've lost_

Jake was on his computer researching in connection to a case. He was back at work after two weeks since his mom....went away. He was serious in his work, to say the least. No excitement about a murder or no shenanigans up his sleeves. He was just working around like a zombie, filling his stomach with coffee. As he went to hand over a file to Terry and was about to turn around Terry called him out.

"Hey, Peralta, why don't we sit down and you tell me about how are you doing. Also, it is okay to talk about your mother. It will help you." Terry gave him a sincere look which Jake was very familiar with.  
Jake looked at him for a second longer then he shifted his gaze down, not knowing how to reply. Then he heard Rosa's voice "Dude, I am ready to listen to you for how much ever you need to talk." And Jake looked at her with moist eyes. That day was the first time since the funeral that Jake had talked about his mother to his friends. And if Terry, Rosa and Charles were with Jake in the break room for the rest of the day then Captain Holt didn't notice.

_Peel the scars from off my back_   
_I don't need them anymore_   
_You can throw them out or keep them in your mason jars_   
_I've come home_

As Jake took a turn to the next street he looked at Amy, on the passenger seat, beside him.  
"You know Ames, I still can't believe that she is gone." His voice sounded low, just above a whisper.  
Amy looked at him in surprise as he rarely spoke these days. Then she took his hand in hers.  
"Hey, she will always be with you, in your memories. And Jake you know I am always here, right?"  
"Yes" he looked at her and give her the slightest of smiles. That was the first one since the past month. And Amy smiled back. She knew then that he will be okay, that all will be okay. Jake, then increased the volume of the stereo as his playlist of Taylor Swift's songs started playing.

_All my nightmares escaped my head_   
_Bar the door, please don't let them in_   
_You were never supposed to leave_   
_Now my head's splitting at the seams_   
_And I don't know if I can_

Jake woke up in a sweat. He looked at Amy who hasn't woken up before checking the time. It was almost 3 in the morning.  
 _It was just a bad dream, that's all. Nothing else._  
As he tried to calm himself down, he felt a tug at his T-shirt and he looked at Amy who was still half asleep telling him to lay back down and he happily complied.  
"Today's case was difficult, huh?" Amy avoided the question she wanted to ask, knowing he would avoid answering. So instead she decided to distract him.  
"Oh it was, the killer was smart. Left no evidence behind." Jake was grateful she didn't ask about his nightmare. He didn't want to worry her more than he already did.  
"So it was quite a night."  
"Title of your sex tape."  
Amy chuckled and Jake smiled before hugging her and sleeping again to the sound of her heartbeat.  
Amy knew Jake would take his own time, but he would eventually make it. She knew he was stronger than he thought he was. But for now, she hugged him back tightly as the sound of his soft snores filled her ears.

_Here, beneath my lungs, I feel your thumbs press into my skin again._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> The song I used is 'Welcome Home' by Radical Face.


End file.
